increasing self-esteem

Behind every issue that we have in our lives lies the issue of low self-esteem.

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Self-esteem is the way that we feel about ourselves and how much we value ourselves. If it is low, we will find that it is difficult to stand up for ourselves and ask for what we want. We won’t ask to have our salad dressing on the side in a restaurant, we won’t tell friends that we are no longer drinking alcohol, we definitely won’t go in and ask our boss for a raise or promotion.

It's easy for coaches to tell their clients that they need to build their confidence by starting to like themselves. I remember being told during my RTT training that we were born with high self-esteem. While I recognized that this was true because, seriously there is not a baby out there that thinks, I can’t cry because I’m hungry because that will inconvenience my mom. And I defy you to find a baby that hides when you want to look at it because it’s having a bad hair day.

So, what happened? We learned how to judge ourselves and to be afraid of the judgment of others.

All of us have goals that we want to accomplish in our lives and to do that we have to bring back that innate high self-esteem that we were born with


One of the easiest ways to raise our self-esteem is to begin to praise ourselves. Our brains will believe anything that we tell it because it works strictly off the words that we say to ourselves and the pictures that those words form in our minds. The mind also learns from repetition. So, if the brain is accepting what we say as fact, let’s make those facts work for us. Say things like:

· I matter.

· I am worthy of great things happening in my life.

· I love myself just the way that I am.

· I am smart.

· I can do this.

· I have phenomenal coping skills.

If you have trouble coming up with words of praise, ask yourself, what would I wish my parents had said to me.

· You’re special

· I trust you

· I believe in you and your abilities


Let’s let these words begin to form our reality.

Glem R. Schiraldi, PhD says that we must stop constantly judging ourselves and comparing ourselves to others. We have to stop looking for evidence to validate self-limiting beliefs. We can begin to raise our self-esteem by:

· Being Mindful. This encompasses watching the way that we talk to ourselves. We can’t change what we don’t recognize. Be the watcher of your thoughts and stop the negative ones before they have a chance to complete their criticism. Alan Lokos says that we shouldn’t believe everything that we think because thoughts are not facts.

· Change the story. What we have learned in life can be unlearned. RTT can help accelerate this process by exposing negative beliefs that we created as children and reinterpreting them with the mind of a logical adult.

· Don’t compare yourself to others.

· Channel your inner rock star. Recognize your strengths and the feelings of confidence that they give you. If you have trouble coming up with a list, ask a friend.

· Exercise. Exercising creates physical and mental empowerment. You may also want to make sure that you are eating a nutritious diet and that you are getting sufficient sleep. In short, take care of you.

· Volunteer. When you help others who are in need it takes you outside of your own head. I, also, believe that what we put out into the world comes back to us.

· Forgive. Especially forgive yourself. Shame keeps us in a downward spiral. Accept being the perfectly imperfect you.

· Remember that you are not your circumstances. Failure doesn’t change your core worth.

Work daily to enhance your self-esteem by using any or all of these methods because when it comes down to it the only opinion regarding your self-worth is yours.

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